Episode 4: Colonel Assassin with an Arrow in the Dining Room

In episode four of the Death Saving Bros., "Colonel Assassin with an Arrow in the Dining Room", the group steps into the farm home of Wilhelmina where they enjoy a bountiful farmer's breakfast with her. When Ambienitus, Brixeus, and Revan begins making request for random drinks, the male prostitute from last episode begins producing fantasy equivalents for them. Wilhelmina, satisfied with the hospitality, begins answering any questions the party, who are curiously interested in the man in question. She explains that there is a need in this day and age for such business, and the employees not "on-duty" assist her with her goals to to uproot Roscoe.

She explains that Dosh Johnson sold her info on a special establishment to build her brothel, only to find that he sold the same information back to her competitor, Roscoe. The Crow's Heads began interfering with her hand on the property alongside several salt mines she owns. Dosh suggests sending Taylor over to simply end Roscoe, but Wilhelmina counters that Clayton, a person behind the scenes and the benefactor to Roscoe and his gang, would simply replace the leader with someone else. The players argue for a minute on the legitimacy of Clayton's name compared to that of Taylor, where Eric gives the deciding point to Dungeon Master Paul Camper.

She continues that Taylor was at the Crow's Head doing surveillance when she saw the party marching in, alerting Natalia and coming to their aid. Wanting to recruit the party to assist her, the discussion comes to rewards or payment. Admitting she's frugal at the moment, Brixeus begins hardballing her with percentage profits from the future brothel, alongside naming rights. The players begin going into wild mathematics, putting the dungeon master (and by extension, Wilhelmina) into annoyance, when an arrow narrowly misses her head. The arrow, black in color with red fletching, sticks in the wall and the party rolls for initiative.

The house is ambushed as two men in dark garbs charges through the front door at the party. Fighting back with weapons collected from the previous ambush, the adventurers team up with members from Wilhelmina's group and begin the counter-assault as two more bowmen enter the fray. At one point Dungeon Master Paul realizes that he easily allowed the party to surround a single assailant and began murderhobo-ing him, and begins profusely apologizing to everyone in earshot. After one of the assassin drops, the two archers begin to book it, leaving Ambienitus to yeet his shortsword to grievously wound one of them. As Brixeus finishes the archer off, his wild magic surges and everyone turns invisible.

In the chaos, one invisible assassin and an archer fled by horseback, leaving the party victorious. Natalia begins berating them for not sparing any enemies for interrogation, but is silenced by Wilhelmina. Everyone ponders how Brixeus casted magic of that magnitude, which ends abruptly when Wilhelmina suggests he spends time with Taylor. Natalia storms off, leaving the party to question the relationship between her and Wilhelmina.

A few days later full of rest, the party reaches level 2! Wilhelmina replenishes most of the weapons, although arguments arise over supply issues; at one point there was a request for whips with the mindset that there are prostitutes working in the farmstead. Paul admits that the whips they would have would not be "combatively functional".

Accepting a 7% profit margin and naming rights to the brothel, the party agrees to work for Wilhelmina. She brings up multiple quests, including her salt mines being raided by orcs, who she believes is the Crow's Heads doing. She has found a new location for the brothel that needs defending, and Southsalt needs scouting for yet another location. She pointedly asks Dosh to not sell her out. The party ponders on where to go first, and decide that satisfying their bloodlust over in the salt mines would be their best bet. Equipped with horses, the adventurers begin their travels to unravel the mystery of the orc raiders.

>> Episode 5: It's Old Man Withers!